Thursday, August 8, 2013

When Fighting Depression...

Years ago when I was severely depressed (well, it was after my daughter passed away) I knew I had to pull myself up by my boot straps.  But it was hard.  The only way I can describe depression is that it feels like the living dead.  What I mean by that is that you feel dead, yet you're still alive.  Let's see if I can explain this:  one thing I love to do is go outside in the summer time and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.  To me, that feels nice.  I am a part of my environment.  I hear the birds, I smell the grass so it feels good to be alive.  However, when one is depressed, you are detached from your environment.  I could be outside yet I felt so detached from the sun, the birds.  It's as if you are living in a bubble and can't reach out to the things that you want to be a part of.  That's why I call it the living dead.  You're alive but can't feel a part of living.  Dead.  So, I don't ever want to get in that 'black hole' ever again.  Some days though, I just don't feel like doing the chores I need to do, especially loading the dishwasher.  And that scares me because I don't ever want to get to the point where "I can't" load it.  So what i try to do every day is do one thing I feel good about.  If I accomplish one chore or clean a room, then I feel good I got something done.  I know, it's not much, but some days I can get a lot done thinking this way.   And yet, I don't feel guilty when I 'can't' get something done.  It's okay.

I say this because my kitchen needs cleaning.  I sorta cleaned it, but it needs one of those deep cleanings.  I haven't done it yet.  But, I've been thinking about it!

In the meantime, I did get this done: 
On the right is what was on the stool

The material I replaced on the stool

I love the new material.  It's so pretty.  

Donald and I also went to Petsmart for cat food and then to the grocery store to get a few items.  I can't believe how much food cost.  Donald had not been shopping with me in a long time and he just couldn't believe it either.  I think he has sticker shock.  Haha.

On Aug 6th, A&W was having a free float day.  Someone said it was National Soda Float Day.  But the flyer I saw on Facebook said A&W were giving free floats and asked for a donation to the Wounded Warrior Project.  When I asked about it at the restaurant, they didn't know what I was talking about.  Also, we had a choice to get a medium or large soda.  Crazy.  Again, the flyer said A&W would give small free floats.  Okay.  How can I argue with that?  

I appreciate the days when we get out and enjoy ourselves.   


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